Backpacking through church

So last Sunday I got Theo ready for church.  Then I said ‘Let’s go bye-bye.’  He took off running downstairs.  When I got to the car, there he was sitting with his Spongebob backpack on.

When we arrived at church Theo did not want to leave his backpack in the car, so rather then fight I let him wear it into church – all through church – out of church.

Now if he had been willing to walk forward to receive the Lord’s Supper, that would have been fun.

The laying on of hands

Our church has a percussion instrument that I have never seen before. It is a box which the percussionist sits on and pounds out a beat, usually while staring at the congregates who are singing. Theo must like it, because he beats the back of the chair in front of him following the percussionist and returning the stare. I let Theo play his chair during that time. It is one way he can participate since he is not singing yet. Holly gets a little self-conscious about it, but the folks are very kind in regard to Theo. Well, except maybe the first time visitor last Sunday. She was conversing with the Pastor at the book table and had a near miss with the floor since she was between Theo and the table. Regulars know better. I think her life flashed before her eyes for a second. Who knows, maybe she got right with the Man as a result; or a hip replacement. Put the fear into her – that’s my boy. Poor lady didn’t know, come hell or high water, Theo has got to lay hands on each pile of books on that blessed table. Kind of like Holly at the grocery store, “Move it!” I’m sure that dear lady will find a good church.

Some like it hot

Recently I have started smoking meat and grilling more.  Thanks to my brother’s experience I have been able to leap to the porch where the big boys smoke.  However, there are some rookie mistakes that pop up now and then.  Like seasoning the meat – I get carried away sometimes.  My wife finally said, ‘You know, I like the taste of meat.  Just use salt and maybe pepper.  No more chili powder; no more cayenne pepper.”  She has a history of making fantastic food with a very few utensils.  So after church I grilled pork tenderloin and asked my sweet wife what seasoning she would like on it – not trusting myself.  Okay, so salt, pepper and garlic pepper – got it.  When it was all over and I was sampling the pig in the living room, I heard Theo in the kitchen – which is a formula for disaster.  So I asked Alex to check on it and heard her yell “Dad!”  Apparently Theo had been watching the bad example of his over seasoning father.  He had retrieved the cayenne pepper, salt, and curry from the cabinet and poured out the full bottle of cayenne pepper onto the two pork tenderloins.  There was this beautiful pile of red dust millimeters high on the lovely caramelized tender loins.  So I got a rag and began to salvage the poor pigs, but what I should have thought of first was the respirator in my tool room.  Talk about pepper spray.  I mean I thought I actually heard someone yell, ‘Put the rag down and get down on your face.’  Fortunately, I had already poured the heat down the drain.  Oh, words of advice . . . don’t turn the garbage disposal on when you are flushing a full bottle of cayenne pepper down the sink.

Better go see what Theo is up to.

Guitar man

Yesterday Alex got Theo hooked up watching Spongebob on the computer.  But that really wasn’t enough.  I guess the music was inadequate, because Theo supplemented with the guitar.

Sabbath Rest

After church and a Lord’s Day feast, Holly and I used to hunker down for a nap.  Theo has changed that.  One Sunday afternoon several years ago, there came a knocking at my door (Poe).  More like beating.  I opened it to see my panicked neighbor explaining how Theo had just walked right into her house and it scared them.  I saw Theo out in the street and thought the emergency was over so a spontaneous surge of stupidity came over me and I responded to my neighbor, ‘Let me get my shoes on.’  She was already horrified and her expression didn’t change, but she looked at Theo in the street as I turned and Theo looked at me making a strategic mistake and made straight for her house – again.  Well my neighbor took off running and I quickly put my running shoes on, and then sprinted over.  My neighbor was holding the door open and I’m sure had an astonished look on her face, but I didn’t look at her.  Well I made entry to retrieve Theo and I found him in their hall bathroom excitedly holding the shower curtain open as if, ‘Look Dad, they have a bath and shower just like us.’  So I grabbed him and apologized all the way out of the house.  I have not spoken to her since.  Holly has not stopped laughing since.